the dweller II
September. 28. 2010
India to some seems like an uncontrollable attack on the senses. Somedays, I understand. But others, I wonder if in those stories, time was taken to enjoy the space and time it affords- far removed from regimented confines…
India is a sensuous river, and it floods every once in a while, but it is teeming with life and irrigates a billion people with a life that is really connected to the rhythms of the earth and sky. Time, it goes on, but once in a while, you realize that here- there are no schedules, there will be no 5-step process described for prsuing your mundane goals- here, you can take the flow of time just a little lightly and therefore find room to fly a little.
The photo above is one of a series I call the Dweller- here he is, rising to till his land at dawn, as I stood on the edge of the mustard fields in search of stillness on a December morning…
london underground
September. 27. 2010
the motherland of the industrial revolution…traces embedded everywhere
I’d go back to London in a heartbeat- just to call the subway the tube or the underground and say wicked and shag a lot! lol
any takers?
the heart of the matter
September. 13. 2010
Depths of my spirit, for I have seen those who are
Satisfied the most wretched of people.
I have heard the sigh of those in yearning and longing, and it is sweeter than the sweetest melody.”
-Khalil Gibraan (A Tear and a Smile)
The heart of the matter has always been here. I knew it when I learned of its existence….and then it made sense. Of course it did- it’s where we came from, and I had to go to it.
The Grand Canyon has haunted me since memory- even when I lived on the other side of the planet, surrounded by no one and nothing that had any connection to it, it was like a given.
In everything I do, I seek understanding- the bigger picture, the bigger picture. An obsession that keeps instigating wandering- very precious to me. The heart of the Canyon had to be a stop in the journey. It would be the place that hurt my soul to leave….and it did. Something of my spirit lies in that river, in the red rocks I lust after- it must, because the tears are streaming down my face still.
Every step of the journey was surreal. I kept trying to trace the source of this craving- it is so far removed from the life I come from- the roots of my lineage that wind around the Indian subcontinent in simple minded, earthen folks; our Vasant Kunj flat that I grew up in in the heart of Delhi…Delhi, where most are consumed by survival, amid the bustling humdrum of life lived in sensory explosion….to here; to rocks, and yearning and joy and pain.
Here I was. I was here.
I still can’t believe I touched it. Or rather, that it touched me…this magnanimous space chiseled by the ebb and flow of time and water. One look up- the history of our planet carved and on display. Swallow that, it says to me- and I struggle to digest.
When the climb got really rough, I found myself singing “we had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun…” just like my mother had taught me…back when I had just learned to speak and words flowed into each other, sometimes amalgamating their meanings into residual feelings, that I still remember.
Funny thing about that canyon- distracted by your desperation to understand its heart, you stumble upon the heart of your matter.
Dallas
September. 9. 2010
I work downtown Dallas. This is the view from our parking lot- shot on a cool spring morning when I couldn’t resist tracing the jet-lines.
It’s a little surreal sometimes, when I find myself negotiating corporate culture in the heart of a city that sometimes appears more plastic than real.
What is quintessentially Dallas? I ask several people…the answers vary: anything from the Texas State Fair (fried fried food) to the Cowboys (whom I know nothing about). I have always seen Dallas for its Bling! The manicured women hanging around Highland Park Village, a thirst for designer goods, money spent of dinner that could feed a small village….or the shiny cars parked outside ritzy restaraunts…I felt like such a rebel showing up and valet-ing Miles, my ’98 Civic, paint job disappearing, beautiful rust corroding his solid surface…
In all fairness, the city and my perception of it have both evolved tremendously in the last two years I have inhabited it. My time here has reinforced what I have always known- It’s never about the place, it is about the people.
Sub-consciously wrestling stereotypes in the Big-D has taught me much about myself, and my fellow human beings. I was suffocating for just a while there before I found more people who shared the values I cherish.
But even the frigthening negation of what was my solid ground, from all the others was good for me. Having to constantly justify your point of view strengthens and solidifies your beliefs. Moreover, being forced to dissociate the core of a person from their political and religious agendas, has been a challenge and a revealation to me. It forces you to seek the soul of a person- and then the rest becomes irrelevant at some level…
I, like most of the world, take Evolution as fact- it is not a debate. I am an atheist but I realize while Jesus may have saved this bunch of people- Krishna, Allah and Buddha are just as valid to their followers. And I can’t say I understand why Palin was such a goddess to some of my friends. But in the end- even the friends who disagree with me on all this and more- remain friends…people I cherish. They have a part of my soul, and I have some of theirs.
And I have Dallas to thank for them all- who have opened their hearts so I could waltz right into them.
I recently moved to Oak Cliff in a pretentious attempt to avoid the pretentious I guess, and while I love being in less manicured territory where life feels more “real” just a little bit removed from the city lights, I do look upon them fondly. So what I can tell you about this city, is that it is still searching for its soul…it’s a great place to discover yourself- it affords one the luxury of time in many ways. It’s fantastic for you guys just graduating people- it lets you slowly get your feet wet in whatever it is you want to do. It definitely has its moments…as do I living in it. Just check out my other blog and you’ll see!
home
September. 7. 2010
all journeys begin at home….before you start chasing the light
